Plot Summary from IMDB A resourceful British government agent seeks answers in a case involving the disappearance of a colleague and the disruption of the American space program. Overall Feel This isn't a bad movie, seems well put together and wasn't a slog like I had assumed it might be due to its age. It is almost the quintessential Jame's Bond experience, lacking only Q. I've never watched this one before, so it was fun to learn some of the things I noted below as I watche

I don't like attention because I have a vanity. I have a strong desire to control how others perceive me. And not for any ego driven goal of making sure that everyone likes me. I think I'd prefer to be that kind of vain. It is because I have an internal self-hating critic, and that little shit reviews far to many things I say or do when interacting with people. I can stew over a phrase or a gesture for weeks due to his voice, my voice. Some actions are so criticized by this

I think I've come upon a mental cycle tied to my desire to kill my brain. I'm 4 days into not having alcohol and generally taking care of myself. The more present and aware I become the less happy I become. The more I want to destroy my awareness and to become absent. The society I am surrounded by is full of imaginary shit. Thought up by some dead unimaginative shortsighted and selfish animals centuries before my birth. What a fucking joke of a world we've created. What a fu

On the previous attempt I went 16 days without any substances. My uncle died and I drank, and I got high. And now here we are. I'll be...

Five days of complete sobriety. Weight: 196.4 lbs Fat Weight: 45.9 lbs Muscle Weight: 142.9 lbs Blood Pressure: 123/78 Heart Rate: 70...

Weight: 203.5 lbs Fat Weight: 47.3 lbs Muscle Weight: 145.2 lbs Blood Pressure: 132/90 Heart Rate: 63 So begins a journey of 30 days of...

I’ve done poorly at writing things here. It’s a mental thing. I have an obsession with meaning. When therapy is often about meaningless...

Haven't updated and quite a while, just been too busy and have not been able to focus on very many internal things or personal projects....

About 30 years ago I stumbled upon a book called Lord Foul's Bane. It was written in 1977 by Stephen R. Donaldson. At the time it was one...

I wanted to include these numbers too, since they tell another chapter in the story. First here are my month to month numbers. May and...

I've used an app called Daylio for many years now. Something I started January 1st 2020 to collect customizable metrics, goals, and activities. My intent was to try and correlate things I did in life to my mental state, to see what may impact my ability to focus, and if there was things in life I was doing that was messing with my sleep. One of those things I began tracking was drinking. And for four years now I've tracked how many drinks I had, and generally what I drank. Th

Forgive me blog, it has been 6 weeks since my last confession. Music Went to Nashville with a friend and saw The Swell Season on the...

So the journal begins! Get Notified! Testing this now to see if an email is sent out to the registered users. And it does! If you'd like...

It is the curse of most modern humans to waste the time in the day when they are most clear minded, when they have the most drive, mental, spiritual, and physical energy. It is often wasted in empty tasks where they use only a fraction of their full selves in repetitive, rarely challenging, physically confined activities. Dulling their senses, undermining their spirit, damaging their bodies to provide false value that is then traded for things to try and add a spark to their